she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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