i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
