you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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