If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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