Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The power of my boobs compel you
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I want a musical about memes.
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