I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
