i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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