remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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