i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize