have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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