I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
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Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
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You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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