We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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