Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
