Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
