i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize