Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
