You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
