i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
