Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
