remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
