please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
