is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
