I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
