also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
