If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
