Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize