It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
