i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
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He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
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I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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