I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
