Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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