you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
its not stalking. its research.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
