Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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