It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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