Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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