Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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