dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize