i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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