I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
