well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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