Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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