I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
