a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
