No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize