So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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