Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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