We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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