is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
