should my penis look like a turkey
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
