there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dicks are not precious.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
