imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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