Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
