she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
