Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
