You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
