When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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