do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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