There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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