I bet he comes in French.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
