i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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