I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
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I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
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A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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