She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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