Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize