I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize