The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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