I need help removing her.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
