U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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