I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
