Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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