i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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