No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
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You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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