I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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