I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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